I Did It!... Now What? How I Found the Look for Me

It was around August 28, 2007 when I had my last relaxer. I was desperate to get my hair straightened because I was too afraid to deal with my naps. I didn't know that it would be my last relaxer, but I'm glad that it was.

It was around August 28, 2008 when I had my last relaxer. I was desperate to get my hair straightened because I was too afraid to deal with my naps. I didn't know that it would be my last relaxer, but I'm glad that it was.

Around my birthday in November, I decided that it was time to start looking for a new relaxer since I felt that the one that I was using wasn't having a "positive" effect on my hair anymore. After doing some research I had an epiphany! Why continue to damage my hair? Why spend money that I don't have on trips to the salon to have some random woman apply dangerous chemicals to my hair and then burn it into a perfect style with a large piece of metal? Even the thought of it now seems completely absurd.

That was the day I decided to start my transition, and I was off to a good start. I hadn't had a relaxer in three months but I was still using a flat iron to straighten out my naps. I soon realized that this was taking a toll on the overall condition of my hair and I gave that up. So for several months I relied on foam pink rollers and Miss Jessie's curly pudding.

Big Chop – Now What?

April 2008 - I decided enough was enough; I was sick of sleeping on my chin in an attempt to keep my curls fresh so I told my sister to get her scissors because it was time to cut! When I looked in the mirror I wanted to cry. My worst fears about the BC had come true; I looked like a man with a big butt.

In an attempt to save my self esteem, my lovely sister braided the front of my hair and put two strand twists in the back in a style that made me reminisce on my days in elementary school. Two days later I took it out... it just wasn't me. I tried to wear a cute t.w.a. but that wasn't working out because. Being a college student on a very small budget, I had no styling products for natural hair. I did my best with what I had, finally achieving a fro with some Sta Sof Fro (yes! only $3.29!).

I still felt terrible about by hair; although I was happy that I was free of my straight ends, my nappy ones didn't look pretty on me. In an attempt to look more feminine, I took to wearing make up EVERYDAY, something that I rarely did. On my way to school every morning I would do a balancing act while riding the uptown A train, with my eye shadow palette in one hand and my brushes in the other.

Learning to Love My Hair

I was already familiar with the most popular natural hair care sites and I decided to try out the styles that they recommended when I saved up enough money to buy a small jar of curly pudding and some Carols Daughter's Healthy Hair Butter. I tried some out on a coil. Loved the look, hated the flakes. Now I look like a nappy snow girl.

I then discovered two strand twists (or should I say rediscovered since that was my first natural style). Now I am in love and I don't know what to do with myself! I first did the twists with the Healthy Hair Butter. I kept this up for a few weeks but the smell was a little too strong for me.

It's important for me to say that when I first started twisting my hair, I wore hats to cover the twists because I was still very self conscious of my hair. I even wore a hood on a sunny 80 degree day. I finally learned how to create nice, neat twists that I am proud to wear all the time and untwist when I'm ready.

Now that I have found a style that is for me I am confident every time I leave the house. You will never see me on the train putting on my bright blue eye shadow unless I'm on my way to a special event. I am so happy that I love my hair. Even though my self esteem was down for a while, I am glad I was able to learn how to bring it back up.

About Maribeth

Maribeth is a writer and student from New York City. Currently she is a senior in college and will be graduating next spring with a dual bachelors degree in Management & Administration and International Studies. Read More. . .